What To Do (And Not Do) When Someone Is Self Harming

  These are the dos and don'ts of how to handle someone self harming:

Do's

• Do let them know you are there for them
• Do stay calm
• Do be patient
• Do have empathy
• Do try to understand them
• Do take care of yourself before taking care of others (you can't take care of them if you aren't taken care of first)
• Do be supportive 
• Do always respect them
• Do be there for them when you can
• Do help them take care of any injuries (but only if they allow it)
• Do listen to them
• Do uplift them and try to make them feel better
• Do research
• Do maintain boundaries
• Do check on them
• Do call an ambulance if you need to (only if you need to, don't waste their time)

Don't

• Don't force them to tell you or talk to you about it
• Don't judge them
• Don't force them to do anything they don't want to do
• Don't try to control them
• Don't ignore them completely but don't overly focus on them
• Don't call them attention seeking for self harming
• Don't assume they will or want to kill themself, not everyone who self harms wants to commit suicide too
• Don't dismiss their feelings
• Don't try to push them to answer any questions you have and don't ask a million questions
• Don't tell them to get over it
• Don't make them feel guilty or shame
• Don't go around telling anyone and everyone
• Don't try to make them hurt themself
• Don't make jokes about it
• If they are male don't tell them to man up
• Don't laugh at them
• Don't talk down to them
• Don't tell them other people have it worse
• Don't tell them to cheer up
• Don't tell them they don't have a reason to feel like that
• Don't downplay how serious it is
• Don't compare them to other people
• Don't tell them they should be grateful for all the things they have